As a bride, everywhere you look, someone is telling you what to do. And it’s not just the magazines and wedding planning websites, either. In addition to the pressure to be trendy or to DIY your wedding to the nines, we’re guessing you have well-intentioned friends and relatives who are offering up unsolicited advice left and right. The big ones? Are usually that brides have to wear white… that bridesmaids have to match… that you have to serve cake… have a wedding DJ… wear high heels and a bridal jewelry set… toss the bouquet… There are plenty more. We could probably spend the next hour listing off the “musts” that poor brides-to-be have thrust upon them as soon as they start wedding planning. It can get irritating – or disheartening, depending on whether you were excited to buck the trends or you simply were trying to cut down on costs.
Here’s the thing, though. There are only a few real “musts” in the wedding planning world. You must speak your vows in whatever way is required in your state. You must feed and entertain your wedding guests – if, that is, you’re having guests at your wedding. And that’s about it. Wedding favors? Not necessary. Cake? It’s up to you. An iPod can stand in for your DJ if you really want it to. There’s no rule saying you have to have a sit down meal at your reception.
Brides, as it turns out, actually have a lot of wiggle room when it comes to what they “must” do, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. For every bride who wants to wear Swarovski crystal bridal jewelry there’s a bride who wants to wear a simple veil and no other accessories. Most brides still choose white, but we’ve been to many weddings where the bride walked down the aisle in red, purple, green, or even black – and saved a bundle of money as a consequence. Matching bridesmaids? Only necessary if you like that look! Some brides choose a color and let their bridesmaids choose the dress. Others choose a pattern (see above) and go from there.
The point is that there is more than one way to have a wedding, regardless of what the magazines and wedding planning websites would have you believe. As a bride, you should wear what you love, not what someone else likes best or what some expert tells you is proper. Do we offer recommendations? Of course, and we do it weekly! But we’d much rather know that you’re standing at the altar feeling comfortable and beautiful than be the ones to pick your colors, your bridesmaids’ dresses, and your jewelry.
Because, bride-to-be, that’s your job! If anyone tries to tell you any different, feel free to thank them for their input and then disregard that input entirely.