What to Do When Cold Feet Strike

The reception venue is booked. Your wedding jewelry is nestled in your hope chest along with your wedding shoes and your grandmother’s lace handkerchief. For months, people around you have been admiring the ring on your finger – the ring that says “I’m taken and ready to say ‘I do’.” But the truth is, you’re not feeling ready even though every new day brings you that much closer to speaking those very words in front of 100+ friends and relatives. Frankly, you’re anxious. Unsure.

And that is what we call a classic case of cold feet – a common malady among brides- and grooms-to-be.

There are two ways to address cold feet. Number one is useful when you absolutely know that you’re only really feeling nervous because you’re taking such a big, life-changing step. It’s so simple. You talk to someone. Just talk. It could be your mom or it might be a professional. Some brides-to-be feel actually feel comfortable talking to their SOs about cold feet, but we’d say that’s not the norm. The point is, you find someone to talk to and then find ways to work through your feelings. Again, that’s only when you have a strong intuition that your chilly toesies are just your way of coping with the stress of anticipating a wedding.

Number two is more difficult because it’s the method you use when you’re legitimately unsure. It starts simple – talk to a professional – and then gets complicated – seriously consider delaying or calling off the wedding. We hate to say it, but sometimes getting married isn’t the right decision. People change and the person you’re about to marry may not be the person you fell in love with. Some fiances and fiancees are abusive. It could be that you’re just not ready to get married. But if you feel really, really strongly that saying “I do” isn’t the right decision, you owe it to yourself not to say it, even if that means losing deposits and dealing with negativity from family.

Luckily, most of the time cold feet are just the brain’s way of reminding us to take marriage seriously when so much of wedding planning is totally un-serious. If you suspect that your cold feet may be trying to tell you something more, though, please please please give yourself permission to think critically about where you’re headed.

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Bridal Glove Etiquette: Wearing Bracelets with Gloves

One of the questions our bridal stylists get a lot is “If I wear X, can I still wear Y?” where X and Y are various bridal accessories and types of wedding jewelry. As in, if I wear crystals, can I still wear pearls? If I wear a bridal tiara, can I still wear luxurious drop earrings? You get the idea. A particular question that comes up less frequently, but still comes up, is whether a bride can wear bracelets with her gloves.

The easy answer is yes – we support brides wearing whatever will make them feel beautiful – but we wanted to go deeper and find out what the etiquette rules are that deal with bracelets and bridal gloves. As it turns out, the rules for bracelets (as opposed to rings) are a lot more simple and straightforward than we imagined they’d be.

There is actually a long history of prominent women wearing bracelets over opera gloves – which is why some stylists caution brides to avoid wearing bigger bracelets over gloves lest they end up looking like the Queen Mum (or a Material Girl).

But in general, there is no reason to wait until your wedding reception to swap out your gloves for a beautiful bridal bracelet. These days, brides who wear both aren’t breaking any rules, etiquette or fashion. And in fact, a bracelet on each wrist *daring, we know* gives the bride wearing mousquetaire gloves somewhere to tuck the ends during the ring exchange part of the ceremony and while dining.

When it comes to rings over gloves, though… we think not, even if some think doing so is fashion-friendly.

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10 Tips for Brides: Looking Great in Wedding Photos

It doesn’t matter what kind of bride you are. Whether you want to say your vows on a mountain top or in a cathedral… whether you fall in love with a vintage-look feather fascinator or a pearl bridal tiara… whether you want a traditional white tiered cake or wedding pie. Wedding jewelry, the venue, and so on are on some level less important than looking great in wedding photos. Have you ever met a bride who didn’t want to look great in wedding photos? Neither have we. So here are 10 tips for looking not only beautiful on the big day, but gorgeous in your wedding album.

1. Don’t pose or mug for the camera. Don’t even look at it! Just be yourself, have fun, and enjoy your ceremony and reception. Your happiness will shine through in your photos and you will look like yourself.

2. Have an engagement session with your wedding photographer. This will give you a chance to meet him or her and for you all to get to know one another. You’ll be more comfortable on your wedding day for having already worked together.

3. Practice smiling in the mirror. Yes, it sounds silly, but if there’s something you don’t like about your smile – too much gum? crinkly eyes? – you can teach yourself how to smile naturally without that something.

4. Don’t go crazy with your makeup – unless that’s how you wear it every day. Like we said once already, and may say again, you’ll look your best in your photos if you look like you.

5. Stand with one shoulder toward the camera if you are doing formal shots, as opposed to having your whole front facing the lens. You’ll look poised and elegant, and slimmer, too.

6. Natural light, for those not having evening weddings, is more flattering so try to get as many shots as possible outside and near windows.

7. Let yourself laugh. Even if you usually don’t like the way you look when you laugh in pictures, laugh anyway. A big cheesy grin that’s truly happy will always look better than a model-like glare.

8. When you feel your face tensing up, take a minute to relax your features – even if it means pausing the portraiture.

9. Avoid orangey makeup and faux tans and keep glitter to a minimum. The former can make you look like an Oompa Loompa in wedding photos and the latter may make you look sweaty.

10. Stand up straight! Even if you’re not feeling confident – and some brides don’t really like being the center of attention – stand tall. Good posture will translate as confidence in your pics.

Photo by Ben Chrisman Photography

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