When Not to Have Kids in the Wedding Party

1. You really don’t want kids in attendance and that’s perfectly fine. Just because there are children the perfect age in your extended family that fit the role, don’t feel obligated to add them to the wedding party. Let the parents know up front that you have chosen not to add children to the wedding party. If you have someone pressuring you to add their children to the line up then leave this article in a conspicuous place for them to read.
2. You want your day to go perfectly as planned. This is fine also. You spent enough time and money planning every last detail and you would not appreciate uncalculated antics. One ring bearer’s pillow had a music box inside. It didn’t take long for him to find the wind up key in the back and then begin tossing it up in the air during the vows.
3. You are getting married in the evening. Not a good idea to add kids to this mixture. They may not get a proper nap and others in attendance may resent the kids being around drinking adults.
4. The kids have to travel into town. If the stay is at a familiar and welcome home then there is a better chance for a restful night. But a strange bed and changes to their routine is more than some children can handle. Check with the parents first.
5. When there is just too many to choose from and someone might get offended. I’m sure you have seen it. Two flower girls, two ring bearers, and the groom’s man stuck with the twelve-year-old junior bridesmaid. If you really don’t want them, skip the kids all together.
6. When you really don’t know the parents well. The kids should mean more to the bride and groom than just cute props. Don’t ask a friend of a friend’s child to be in the wedding or even a long distant relative just because he or she is cute and the right age. It takes a lot of preparation, patience, prodding, and expense on the parents part to make the day go relatively smoothly.

Kids are kids and they are unpredictable. If you can accept this and go with the flow then have them in your wedding, but remember not every kid is suited for the job.

* There is the flower girl that thinks she is too old for the job but she is still too young to be a junior bridesmaid. (Age 4-6 for flower girls, 10-13 for Junior bridesmaids)
* The hormonal junior bridesmaid who hates the dress and hair while scowling through every picture.
* The ring bearer who would rather drop kick the pillow than carry “that thing” covered with lace.
* The flower girl who is crying because she really thought she was getting married too!
* The “active” flower girl who thinks it is the two yard dash and the $200 dress is just a white blur!
* The ring bearer who thinks it is his job to clean up after the flower girl as she drops the petals and he picks them up after her.
* The ring bearer who tears down the aisle and rips through the LOUD paper of the new toy that bribed him down the aisle in the first place.

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Kids In The Wedding Party – Should They Be in Yours?

Aren’t they cute?! Wedding pictures aren’t complete without a flower girl and a ring bearer! Or maybe you don’t want kids and your getting a little flack?

Kids will be kids! This phrase wasn’t coined by accident. If you want kids in the wedding remember you are not getting married on Fantasy Island! Having attended to the beauty needs of hundreds of brides I have seen and heard my share of kids in the wedding party stories. Following are some tips and suggestions to help you get a better perspective on having children in attendance.

Some brides want it all; kids, dogs, butterflies, doves, you name it. So if your heart is set on having your little niece and your cousin’s son walk down the aisle then I say go for it! But do it with planning! Some brides think they want the kids in the wedding, but the bride may find she is better off having cardboard cutouts as stand- IN’s then to have to deal with the real thing. On the other hand some of you are leaning to the side of a “no kids” wedding. For those of you sitting on the fence, let me help you choose a side.

When to have kids in the wedding party:

1. You love children! You love their spontaneity and if they do something silly you think it will just add more charm and laughs to your day. (You’ll make a great Mom too!)
2. You are getting married early in the day. Kids are better when it is not too late in the day. This way Mom and Dad will not have to leave early to get their cranky angels off to bed. Or plan on hiring someone to whisk the kids away for the night.
3. The children are local and can sleep in their own bed the night before. I had a bride who was having a male friend’s daughter in the wedding. However, the child’s parents were divorced so the mother was not in attendance to the wedding. The little girl couldn’t hang out with Daddy and the grooms’ men, so the bride had her sleep at her house the night before. The bride arrived late and stress to the salon the next morning because SHE had to give the child a morning bath! Not Good!
4. They are your own children. By all means they should be a part of this special event. By being included and involved they will feel more secure about their significance and place in your new life.
5. You don’t care how her hair looks. Requesting a specific hairstyle for the flower girl can get tricky. Not every child’s hair will hold a curl, nor will they sit long enough to get it done.

I had three little sisters that were all in the wedding. Once the mother got everyone through the door and into the brides non-child proof small apartment everyone was stressed! The bride wanted them all to have French braids and the youngest child was three years old. She kept pushing my hand out of the way and as I would braid a section of hair she would rip it out. Oh well!
6. You know they are “good” children. Some kids are born to be in weddings. Lois Pearce, President of Beautiful Occasions in Hamden, Connecticut adds, ” One of the key things to think about when considering these children is their maturity level. Does the child behave well (within reason) around adults? Are they able to understand directions?

Just because they are cute is not the criteria for them to upstage the bride on her wedding day.” Whether they love the attention or they are easy going and compliant you and their parents need to feel confident they will do their job well. Hey, considered them for hire. ( Just kidding )

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List of Photos for Your Wedding Day

Here’s a big list of photographs that your photographer can take at your wedding. You can just print out the page, check off the pictures that you want and then give the list to your photographer. Also, be sure to highlight any particular pictures that you absolutely don’t want your photographer to miss!

Hint: Full length pictures capture all the beauty and magnificence of the wedding dress, wedding attire and beautiful scenery or backdrops. Close-up or half length (above the waist) photographs better capture facial expressions and reveal more emotion.

The Bride

* ____ Bride dressing for wedding
* ____ Mother helping bride put on veil
* ____ Bride looking in mirror
* ____ Bride putting on garter
* ____ Bride-Full Length
* ____ Bride-Half Length
* ____ Bride-Close Up
* ____ Bride with mother-Full Length
* ____ Bride with mother-Close Up
* ____ Bride with father-Full Length
* ____ Bride with father-Close Up
* ____ Bride pinning on father’s boutonniere
* ____ Bride with Both Parents-Full Length
* ____ Bride with Parents-Close Up
* ____ Bride with Grandparents-Full Length
* ____ Bride with Grandparents-Close Up
* ____ Bride with sisters-Full Length
* ____ Bride with sisters-Close Up
* ____ Bride with brothers-Full Length
* ____ Bride with brothers-Close Up
* ____ Bride with immediate family
* ____ Bride with Maid of Honor-Full Length
* ____ Bride with Maid of Honor-Close Up
* ____ Bride with her attendants-Full Length
* ____ Bride with her attendants-Close Up
* ____ Bride & flower girl/ring bearer
* ____ Father helping bride out of limo

The Groom

* ____ Groom-Full Length
* ____ Groom-Half Length
* ____ Groom-Close Up
* ____ Groom putting on bow tie
* ____ Groom with mother-Full Length
* ____ Groom with mother-Close Up
* ____ Groom with father-Full Length
* ____ Groom with father-Close Up
* ____ Groom with Parents-Full Length
* ____ Groom with Parents-Close Up
* ____ Groom with Grandparents-Full Length
* ____ Groom with Grandparents-Close Up
* ____ Groom with sisters-Full Length
* ____ Groom with sisters-Close Up
* ____ Groom with brothers-Full Length
* ____ Groom with brothers-Close Up
* ____ Groom with Immediate Family
* ____ Groom & Best Man-Full Length
* ____ Groom with Best Man-Close Up
* ____ Groom & Best Man shaking hands
* ____ Groom & Groomsmen-Full Length
* ____ Groom & groomsmen-Close Up


* ____ Grandparents being seated
* ____ Groom’s parents being seated
* ____ Bride’s parents being seated
* ____ Flower girl walking down aisle
* ____ Ring Bearer walking down aisle
* ____ Bridesmaids walking down aisle
* ____ Maid of Honor walking down aisle
* ____ Father walking Bride down aisle
* ____ Father giving bride away
* ____ Bride & Groom at altar
* ____ Bride & Groom exchanging vows
* ____ Bride & Groom exchanging rings
* ____ Bride & Groom lighting candle
* ____ Bride & Groom-the kiss
* ____ Bride & Groom walking down aisle
* ____ Pictures of receiving line
* ____ Bride & Groom exiting church
* ____ Bride & Groom getting into limo
* ____ Bride & Groom’s first toast in limo

Formal Pictures

* ____ Bride & Groom Kissing
* ____ Bride & Groom-Full Length
* ____ Bride & Groom-Half Length
* ____ Bride & Groom-Close Up
* ____ Bride & Groom “gazing” at each other
* ____ Bride & Groom looking out window
* ____ Bride & Groom holding hands
* ____ Close-up of rings
* ____ Bride & Groom with Bride’s parents
* ____ Bride & Groom with Groom’s parents
* ____ Bride & Groom w/Bride’s extended family
* ____ Bride & Groom w/Groom’s extended family


* ____ Parents being announced
* ____ Wedding Party being announced
* ____ Bride & Groom being announced
* ____ Bride & Groom’s first dance
* ____ Wedding party dancing
* ____ Bride’s dance with father
* ____ Groom’s dance with mother
* ____ Best Man toasting Bride & Groom
* ____ Bride & Groom with Champagne glasses
* ____ Bride & Groom’s kiss after the toast
* ____ Wedding Cake
* ____ Bride & Groom cutting cake
* ____ Bride feeding Groom
* ____ Groom feeding Bride
* ____ Kiss after cutting cake
* ____ Bride tossing bouquet
* ____ Groom taking off garter
* ____ Guests dancing
* ____ Bride & Groom’s last dance


* ____ Close up of invitation
* ____ Bride or Groom with special friends
* ____ Bride or Groom with special relatives
* ____ Picture of band or DJ

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After the Reception Checklist

Here’s the list of things to do and items you may need to bring home after the reception. Remember, this is still your day even after the reception is over, so ask someone ahead of time to take care of these items for you!

* ____ All vendors have been paid
* ____ Cake knife
* ____ Gifts and gift envelopes
* ____ Groom’s tux
* ____ Guest book and pen
* ____ Left over decorations
* ____ Left over favors
* ____ Left over flowers/table centerpieces
* ____ Left over food
* ____ Rented items (ex. Cake top, pillars, stand, etc.)
* ____ Toasting flutes
* ____ Top layer of the cake
* ____ Unopened bottles of alcohol
* ____ Wedding dress, if changing into going away outfit

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Ceremony & Reception Checklist

Here’s a list of things you may need to bring to your ceremony and reception location. Remember, this is your day, so ask someone ahead of time to take care of these items for you!
Bring to the Ceremony

* ____ Ceremony Program (Basket for Programs)
* ____ Ceremony Decorations (Pew Bows, Framed Pictures)
* ____ Unity Candle & Tapers
* ____ Marriage License
* ____ Fee for Officiant

Bring to the Reception

* ____ Basket or Container to Hold Money Envelopes
* ____ Scotch Tape for Gift Table
* ____ Guest Book and Pen
* ____ Place Cards, in Alphabetical Order
* ____ Cake Knife
* ____ Toasting Flutes
* ____ Favors
* ____ Emergency Kit

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Invitations and Stationery Checklist

Now, you certainly don’t have to order everything from the printer… some of the items you can make yourself and some you may not need at all… But here’s everything!

In the Invitation

* ____ Invitations

* ____ Outer envelope

* ____ Inner envelope

* ____ Reception card

* ____ Response cards w/envelope

* ____ Travel/hotel info card

* ____ Maps

* ____ Ceremony cards

* ____ Pew cards

* ____ Rain cards

Also Consider

* ____ Ceremony programs or scrolls

* ____ Seating/place cards

* ____ Wedding announcements

* ____ Thank you notes

* ____ At home cards

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Change Your Name Checklist

Here is a quick reference checklist that you can use to help you update your new identity after getting married!

When it comes to changing your name, the companies you deal with may all have different requirements. Many will require a copy of your new social security card as proof of your name change. So, it’s usually a good idea to get your new social security card before you begin changing your other records.

* ____ Social Security Card
* ____ Bank accounts
* ____ Investment accounts
* ____ Wills and insurance policies
* ____ Memberships: health clubs, etc.
* ____ At work: medical/dental, 401k plan
* ____ Credit cards
* ____ Doctor and dental records
* ____ Drivers license-law in some states!
* ____ Automobile registration
* ____ Automobile insurance
* ____ Utility bills
* ____ Mortgages
* ____ Internal Revenue Service
* ____ Courtesy cards, discount cards
* ____ Passport
* ____ Voter registration
* ____ Property titles

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Home Registry Checklist

Home Electronics

___ Stereo System
___ Portable Stereo
___ Radio/Clock Radio
___ Television
___ VCR
___ CD Player/Portable
___ Camera/Camera Equipment
___ Camcorder
___ Telephone/Answering Machine
___ Cordless/Cell Phone
___ Computer System or Equipment

Home Decor & Furniture

___ Television Stand/Entertainment Center
___ Magazine Rack/Holder
___ Lamps
___ Vases
___ Rugs
___ Pillows
___ Pictures/Wall Hangings
___ Mirrors
___ Folding Chairs
___ Bookcase
___ Bookends
___ Computer Desk
___ Desk Accessories
___ Coat Rack
___ Picture Frames
___ CD Holder
___ Clock
___ Bar Stools
___ Wine Rack

Other Household Items

___ Vacuum Cleaner
___ Hand Held Vacuum
___ Iron/Ironing Board
___ Clothes Steamer
___ Carpet Steamer
___ Sewing Machine
___ Laundry Sorter
___ Sewing Basket
___ Step Stool

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Bed & Bath Checklist


___ Flat Sheets
___ Fitted Sheets
___ Pillow Cases
___ Pillow Shams
___ Bed Skirt
___ Lightweight Comforter
___ Down Comforter
___ Duvet Cover
___ Blankets – Lightweight & Heavy
___ Pillows


___ Bath Towels
___ Hand Towels
___ Wash Cloths
___ Guest Towels
___ Shower Curtain
___ Bath Mat/Rug
___ Hamper
___ Matching Bath Accessories

Personal Care

___ Bathroom Scale
___ Humidifier
___ Hair Dryer
___ Towel Racks
___ Massager/Foot Massager
___ Electric Toothbrush
___ Shower Massage
___ His & Her Shavers

For The Bride

___ Scented Soaps and Bath Oils
___ Lotions, Perfumes & other Toiletries
___ Make-Up Mirror
___ Turbo Spa

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Outdoor & Recreation Checklist

Lawn & Garden

___ Gas Grill & Accessories
___ Patio Table
___ Patio Chairs
___ Hammock
___ Veranda Pots
___ Weed Trimmer
___ Patio Lights
___ Wind Chimes
___ Plant Stand
___ Leaf Blower
___ Garden Tools
___ Mail Box
___ House/Name Sign
___ Outdoor Thermometer

Sports & Recreation

___ Exercise Equipment
___ Fishing Gear
___ Hiking Gear
___ Camping Equipment
___ Cooler
___ Binoculars
___ Golf Clubs
___ Tennis Rackets
___ Bicycles
___ Bicycle Rack
___ Bicycle Helmets
___ In-line Skates & Pads
___ Other Sporting Equipment


___ Luggage
___ Wheeled Carry-on
___ Carry-on Tote
___ Garment Bag
___ Duffel Bag
___ Luggage Cart
___ Travel Iron
___ Travel Steamer
___ Travel Alarm Clock
___ Travel Kits

For The Groom

___ Specialty Cigars
___ Humidors

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