Here’s something you may not have encountered before… yes, the groom’s countdown. With – let’s be honest here – the bride handling so much of the wedding planning duties, it is relatively rare to come across a to-do list for grooms. Maybe the wedding experts out there just assume that the bride-to-be will fill her soon to be spouse in on what he ought to be doing and when? That being the case, no one will blame you if you’re feeling a little lost as to what the duties of a groom actually are.
Turns out that the list of what grooms are apparently responsible for is woefully short when compared to lists of the bride’s duties. I’m not here to tell you how to live your life, of course, but I hope you’ll forgive me for saying that when it comes down to it I hope that you and your spouse-to-be find a wedding planning division of labor that works for you as a couple – and doesn’t leave you as a person exhausted and stressed out.
With that in mind, here is the generally accepted list of what grooms should be doing to help with the wedding planning:
12 to 18 Months Before
- Meet with both sets of parents to discuss the budget and style of the wedding.
- Go with your fiancée and book the reception site. Many sites fill up quickly so the earlier you pick a spot, the better!
- Reserve your ceremony location.
- Choose your groomsmen. Figure on one usher per 50 guests.
9 Months Before
- Decide on an officiant.
- Write out a preliminary guest list for “your side”. Be sure to get input from your parents.
- Register at one or several locations along with your SO.
- Accompany the bride-to-be at any tastings, meetings, and visits.
6 Months Before
- Choose and order your attire and your groomsmen’s outfits.
- Plan and book your honeymoon. Are you looking for fun, seclusion, fine dining? Contact a travel agent for help if necessary.
3 Months Before
- Finalize the guest list.
- Order your wedding bands and decide on inscriptions.
- Check state requirements concerning marriage license eligibility.
- Decide on living arrangements and order furnishings.
2 Months Before
- Buy wedding gifts for your bride and groomsmen.
- Pick up your wedding rings, make sure they fit properly and check the inscription for accuracy.
2 Weeks Before
- Pick up your marriage license.
- Give ushers instructions for seating the guests at the ceremony, especially if there are guests requiring special assistance.
- Practice your toast to the bride’s family.
- Pick up your rental attire and remind your groomsmen to do the same.
- Arrange for someone to bring the gifts from the reception to your home.
- Get a haircut.
1 Day Before
- Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Give gifts to groomsmen.
- Do something sweet for your bride (hint hint). A short love letter, a flower on her pillow…. she’s worked hard planning a wedding, so show her how much you appreciate her.
Of course, the groom’s duties can be anything. Maybe the groom-to-be is responsible for picking out and reserving the reception venue. Heck, maybe he’s responsible for picking out the bride’s wedding garter set – this is 2014, after all! The list above could be said to be the traditional list of groom’s to-dos, but we hope times are changing as more couples pay for their own weddings. We’re all for the guys taking on more!
What wedding planning duties has your groom-to-be taken on?