Ring Bearer & Trainbearer: Tips and Responsibilities


*It is not necessary to have either a ring bearer or trainbearer in your wedding, if you choose to, however, they should be between the ages of four and six.

In Advance

*It is not necessary for the ring bearer or trainbearers to attend the showers or other parties.
*Ring bearers and trainbearers do attend the rehearsal and should attend the rehearsal dinner with their parents.

The Wedding

*The ring bearer carries a decorated pillow with a ring or set of rings sewn to it. (The rings do not need to be the real ones and are usually not)
*The ring bearer walks either in front of or besides the flower girl in the processional and the recessional.
*If the real rings are tied to the pillow the ring bearer takes the pillow directly to the best man who will remove the rings.
*The trainbearer follows the bride in the processional and recessional and carries the bridal train.
*During the ceremony, the ring bearer and trainbearer may stand near the ushers or sit with their families in a front pew.
*Both the ring bearer and trainbearer are in the formal photographs with the rest of the bridal party.

The Reception

*The ring bearer and trainbearer do not stand in the reception line.
*They sit at a table of honor with their families, near the head table.


*Families of ring bearer’s and trainbearer’s are expected to pay for their attire and any travel costs that may exist.
*The ring bearer and trainbearer are not expected to bring gifts to any pre-wedding parties they may attend. If their parents attend, gifts expectations would be the same as any other guest. If they attend more than one party, only one shower gift is expected.

General Tips

*Do not give the ring bearer or the trainbearer any sugar before the ceremony.
*Try to keep them calm by playing games with them or giving them something to play with while they are waiting to take their turn down the aisle.
*Talk to you ring bearer or trainbearer about their role, but resist the urge to “hype” up their role, this may make them more scared and nervous and could cause some un-needed problems on your wedding day.
*Don’t forget to show your appreciation for your ring bearer and trainbearer by giving them a small gift to commemorate the event.