Tips for Choosing Your Wedding Party

choosing bridesmaids - choosing bridesmaids dresses

Wouldn’t you just love it if you could have 14 bridesmaids and invite everyone you love and like to be in your wedding party? Sure, but we’d still say you need to choose your attendants carefully! Not every friend or relative will be a perfect – or practically perfect – attendant. You especially want your maid of honor and bridesmaids to be:


‘Must have attributes include showing up for fittings and activities when they are scheduled and being on time for the rehearsal and the ceremony! ‘Nice to haves’ include there for you when you need shopping help or ready to drop everything and fold programs at the drop of a hat.


Able to wear bridesmaid jewelry and dresses that may not be their ideal choice and NOT complain! Honestly, it’s one day out of their lives, and if they’re not willing to wear the uniform then they’re going to have more fun as a wedding guest anyway.


Willing to help out with any wedding details, errands, shopping, and things like putting together favors. Within reason, that is. Your bridesmaids are not hired help and are not actually responsible for stuffing envelopes. Many ‘maids will graciously accept any burden put upon them but please be nice and don’t hijack their lives in the name of your wedding.

More tips for choosing bridesmaids:

When choosing the members of your wedding party, pick friends and/or family members that you are close with NOW. You may want to ask an old college roommate that you haven’t seen in a while, but don’t feel obligated to include people just because you were a bridesmaid in her wedding. Ditto for anyone you wish you had a relationship with – your mean future sister-in-law will not magically become your friend just because you ask her to be a bridesmaid.

If you’re on a tight budget, try to LIMIT the number of attendants. This will reduce your costs in more ways than one! It will reduce your flower bill (bridesmaid’s bouquets can be expensive); the number of attendant gifts that you’ll have to purchase; the cost of a bridesmaids luncheon and rehearsal dinner and you’ll need a smaller limo; and more.

Be conscious that others may be on a budget, too. You may want to look at bridesmaids dresses first and set a budget for the dress, shoes and other accessories that THEY will be required to pay for. Then you can let your prospective bridesmaids know a realistic budget of what they will need to pay to be a bridesmaid in your wedding BEFORE you ask them to accept.

If you are asking bridesmaids who live out of town, be sure to take into consideration the travel and lodging expenses when figuring the projected “bridesmaid budget”.

When choosing your wedding attendants – remember that you don’t necessarily need to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Bridesmaids can walk down the aisle together in pairs, alone or two bridesmaids can be escorted by one groomsman.

How many male attendants will my fiance need to pick? The rule of thumb is… there should be one usher for every 50 guests. The average wedding party for formal or semi-formal is four to six bridesmaids and users. Also, keep in mind a bride does not need as many bridesmaids as ushers. Having a mismatched set of wedding attendants is okay!