When Not to Have Kids in the Wedding Party

1. You really don’t want kids in attendance and that’s perfectly fine. Just because there are children the perfect age in your extended family that fit the role, don’t feel obligated to add them to the wedding party. Let the parents know up front that you have chosen not to add children to the wedding party. If you have someone pressuring you to add their children to the line up then leave this article in a conspicuous place for them to read.
2. You want your day to go perfectly as planned. This is fine also. You spent enough time and money planning every last detail and you would not appreciate uncalculated antics. One ring bearer’s pillow had a music box inside. It didn’t take long for him to find the wind up key in the back and then begin tossing it up in the air during the vows.
3. You are getting married in the evening. Not a good idea to add kids to this mixture. They may not get a proper nap and others in attendance may resent the kids being around drinking adults.
4. The kids have to travel into town. If the stay is at a familiar and welcome home then there is a better chance for a restful night. But a strange bed and changes to their routine is more than some children can handle. Check with the parents first.
5. When there is just too many to choose from and someone might get offended. I’m sure you have seen it. Two flower girls, two ring bearers, and the groom’s man stuck with the twelve-year-old junior bridesmaid. If you really don’t want them, skip the kids all together.
6. When you really don’t know the parents well. The kids should mean more to the bride and groom than just cute props. Don’t ask a friend of a friend’s child to be in the wedding or even a long distant relative just because he or she is cute and the right age. It takes a lot of preparation, patience, prodding, and expense on the parents part to make the day go relatively smoothly.

Kids are kids and they are unpredictable. If you can accept this and go with the flow then have them in your wedding, but remember not every kid is suited for the job.

* There is the flower girl that thinks she is too old for the job but she is still too young to be a junior bridesmaid. (Age 4-6 for flower girls, 10-13 for Junior bridesmaids)
* The hormonal junior bridesmaid who hates the dress and hair while scowling through every picture.
* The ring bearer who would rather drop kick the pillow than carry “that thing” covered with lace.
* The flower girl who is crying because she really thought she was getting married too!
* The “active” flower girl who thinks it is the two yard dash and the $200 dress is just a white blur!
* The ring bearer who thinks it is his job to clean up after the flower girl as she drops the petals and he picks them up after her.
* The ring bearer who tears down the aisle and rips through the LOUD paper of the new toy that bribed him down the aisle in the first place.